So, I’m quoted in Michael Knost’s article, “The Aha! Moment,” which is up at Cemetery Dance’s Writers’ Corner.

The world’s a funny place. Sometimes gravity isn’t as strong as you think, and a fall doesn’t kill you. Sometimes, neither does cancer. Or a scary creature in the woods. Sometimes, it takes a good friend to kill you. And when you get back up again, a real, true friend to kill you again.

It damn near killed me to have to take Brian down twice. I mean, it really wasn’t easy to kill him the first time. It took a lot of hard thinking, some champagne, a whole box of Sweetfucking Snack Cakes, and a big shotgun. I didn’t want to do it. It hurt me, i think, more than it hurt him. But he knew it had to be done, and so did I. And really, in a funny world like this, it takes real dedication to a friendship to deliver a solid like that, you know?

He was different; everybody saw that. He’d been having weird dreams about a house in NJ, but every time he went inside, the dream just abruptly ended, without any kind of closure at all. Then the rumors of his writing more zombie books, after he said he wouldn’t, raised an eyebrow. Switching from Knob Creek to Arbor Mist had tongues clacking. When he started growing thick, bushy hair on top of his head and denouncing comic books as fruits of the demonic democrats, even his family was worried.

And he was dangerous — people saw that, too. Hence the secret identities people used to warn the world of his evil plans for publishing mediocre but clearly chock-full-o-evil-subtext novels which he could churn out over Days of Our Lives and in between black magic rituals to crush the spirits and future publishing hopes of small writers everywhere.

See, there’s only so much tinfoil in the world — I hear there’s an actual room padded with it in Morris, IL, and another somewhere overseas — and I guess it was inevitable. Poisonous cosmic rays got through from deep space, or something came up from some spoiled ancient burial ground in PA; I don’t really know what happened. But whatever it was, it got to Brian. It changed him. It chewed on his brains. It made him a monster. And I knew he had to be stopped, if not for the good of the genre, then for the good of all mankind, before whatever had taken him spread to us all.

I went to Coop first — Geoff Cooper, that is, an old friend of Brian’s — but he wouldn’t help. He couldn’t bring himself to kill his friend. Or, at least, I believe that was the sentiment behind “fucking fuck that fucking shit.”

I went to Jim Moore next. He was onto day three of his new novel, and had just crested the 80,000 word mark, so he was too exhausted to help. Somewhere, on the other side of the country, Mamatas was fighting off legions of nitwits MacGyver-style, armed only with a toothpick, a comb, some masking tape, and a small carton of cherries. Tomo had a new Eric S Bown novel to Tomoview. Big Joe…well, Big Joe had disappeared. And that — maybe more than anything else, reassured me that I was doing the right thing. It was up to me.

Armed with a shotgun, I found him in his cabin in the woods, chewing on the torn-up remains of Jack Haringa (which, judging by the smell and look of things, had been dead for, oh, at least a year). And I shot him. In the back. No pomp and circumstance. The slumping form of him was blurry through the tears. But I did it. For him. For the midlist. For humanity. I meant to go, to sit somewhere off in the middle of nowhere and just think. I felt hollow, sad. I missed him already. And I had just about managed to get my legs moving again, away from the corpses, when Brian sat back up again. I let out a little cry and backed away. He gave me a funny hurt look, a confused look, and then…then, I think he understood. It wasn’t in the bloody, gore-streaked frown, but in his eyes. He was done with zombies. And whatever he’d been before, the torment would have been nothing compared to being the real zombie guy forever and ever and ever.

So I shot him again. In the head this time. I’d learned that from him.

Ever since then, though, I’ve had the strangest desire to eat Hunter S. Thompson’s brains.

Funny world.

If you enjoyed this, please consider making a donation to the SJA: http://www.shirleyjacksonawards.org/sja_support.php

Hey folks, just a heads-up (or a reminder, if you didn’t know) that you can come chat with me at my forum, hosted by the lovely and talented Brian Keene. Sign up and say hi, ask questions, bring wine, heckle, whatever. Come visit me and make me feel loved and special and warm all over, okay?

Mary SanGiovanni Forum

Was going to write a con report but no one reads them (ha ha ha). So, here are highlights of the trip:

- Meeting and chatting with Linda Blair, Chris Sarandon, Tom Savini, Cerina Vincent, Brian Krause, Ed Gale, Adrienne Barbeau, John Landis, and others
- The Elvira impersonator. He had the biggest boobs I’ve ever seen
- Taking a picture of Christine — the deadliest car I’ve ever seen (that I was NOT behind the wheel of)
- “Accidentally” molesting Brian Krause when we were taking pictures (swoon – my new fantasy boyfriend, in addition to RR and SM)
- The pool party — picture drunken goths in their underwear (or less) singing karaoke (badly)
- All the panels — they were a lot of fun, and packed with intelligent and interesting attendees
- The Ripley’s Believe It or Not Museum
- DVD loot score!!!

Thanks to all the readers, fans, and other cool folks I met or chatted with this weekend. It was great meeting Tim, Adam, Alice, Gary, Anthony, Lelia and more (please forgive me if I’m forgetting names) and seeing Phil and Anya, Jeff and Lynn, Owl and Nancy. Special thanks to Owl for inviting us! It was a great time.

Hi, everyone,

Just a reminder that if you’ll be in the Orlando area, I will be a guest at Spooky Empire Con, and will be doing some panels and signing copies of FOUND YOU all weekend. Below is a schedule of where I’ll be and when:

Spooky Empire Con 2009 Author Programming and Signings

Friday
9:00 PM SIGNING
Kevin A. Ranson, Mary SanGiovanni

Saturday
12:00 PM SIGNING
Richard Lee Byers, Mary SanGiovanni

6:00 PM THE HORROR GENRE — A WOMAN’S POV
How do women perceive horror victims? Is there any bias between female and male horror writers?
[Alice Henderson, Mary SanGiovanni, Lynne Hansen (M)]

11:00 PM SCARED HOT: SEX & HORROR
Sexy vampires, seductive shape-shifters. Why does sex and horror go so well together?
[Lynne Hansen, Mary SanGiovanni, Robert Massetti, Steven Shea, Adam-Troy Castro (M)

Sunday
11:00 AM THE THING IN THE BASEMENT
From forgotten caverns to the New York subway, our experts explore their favorite underground horrors.
[Mary SanGiovanni, Vince Courtney, Del Stone Jr. (M), Owl Goingback]

3:00 PM CHOOSING YOUR MONSTERS
Which monsters are over-used? Which are still untapped resources of evil?
[Mary SanGiovanni (M), Tim Anderson, Jeff Strand, Alice Henderson]

Okay, I don’t know how I missed this, but…here it is.

So I am now officially a shiny new member of The Authors Guild. I’m pleased as punch that they accepted my membership, and I’m very much looking forward to seeing what they have to offer.

Hey folks — if you’ll be in Orlando for Spooky Empire Con next month, I’ll be signing copies of THE HOLLOWER and FOUND YOU. Here’s the schedule:
FRI 9:00 PM Kevin A. Ranson, Mary SanGiovanni
SAT 12:00 PM Richard Lee Byers, Mary SanGiovanni
SUN 4:00 PM Steve Alten, Mary SanGiovanni

For all you tech-savvy folks out there, I see that Amazon has Kindle versions of my books out now. This delights me immensely. If any of you do have a Kindle and you pick it up, let me know how it looks….

The Hollower

Found You

INHUMAN – Issue #4 is now available for purchase and should arrive in a week or so!

The fourth issue is selling for $6.95 + $2 S/H via media mail when orderd from this site.

Featuring ‘When the Monsters Get You’ by Bev Vincent where he tracks down the monsters of Stephen King. Also included:

New Terrors:

• The Pornography of Puppets – Chad Hensley and W.H. Pugmire
• Meat Wagon – Justin Gustainis
• Becoming Michael – Joseph Nassise
• Nada Nother Night – Lois H. Gresh
• Two by Boston – Bruce Boston
• I Known Why the Waters of the Sea Taste of Salt – Steven Vernon
• Der Fleisbrünnen – Mark McLaughlin
• The Days After the World Went Away – Mary SanGiovanni
• Will O’ the Wailing Wind – Darren Speegle
• Day of the Dead – Kiel Stuart
• The Eater of Hours – Darrell Schweitzer
• Snapshots From a Feast – Matt Cardin
• Xan-ti-maca: The Pit of Hell – C.J. Henderson and R.Allen Leider
• Castle Hybrid – Robert Swartwood
• Shapes in the Illusive Night – Stephen Mark Rainey

Vintage Horrors:

• Chompers – Joe R. Lansdale
• Ants – Chet Williamson
• The Day the Monsters Broke Loose – Robert Silverberg

Departments:

• From the Vault – Editorial by Allen K
• When the Monsters Get You – Essay by Bev Vincent
• John Pelan’s Things From the Vault – Interview by john Pelan